Dear Mr. President, Don Trump, and, First Lady, Melania Trump:** As you have seen from the notice that I sent to you when you first entered office, (I sent it to you in February ****, canc.), I am still riding high as main celebrity in The United States. My massive fame comes from a great deal of publication and the most extreme music fame on Earth. As I showed you in **** in writing, with all of my accomplishments, which are listed in that cancellatura notice, I certainly must be the very biggest celebrity in The United States, if not the world , today. I have made an effort to stay in touch with you. I hope that you to are fans of mine, as I am such an avid supporter and fan of yours. With my G.O.P. involvement, which is quite high with all that I do in politics and legislation, I really hope now that I have become a person that you respect and admire, as I do with you and your family. ** About a year ago, I mentioned though, a dire situation that I have encountered having to do with a conspiracy on my hair, believe it or not. If you will recollect, I had identified a woman that is originally from The West Bank and Gazan State of Israel, that goes by the name "The Palestinian *****", along with her man friends, that go by various names, including: Rich Moore, Rich Morr, Rich Moar, Rich Maiyora, S. Ben Qayim, and, Andrew McCabe. The Palestinian *****, Tomy Shaaa, and, the different variations of Rich Moore thoroughly communicated that they had damaged my hair, making it noticably light. They are psychotic, and, Rich Moore does sodomy, along with Sylvester Stallone for *** reasons on The Palestinian *****. * So, at the time I reported it to you in February ****, I mentioned that I need and would be open to receiving financial assistance from you so that I have all of the funds that I need to do all of the many things that I must to correct my hair difficulty. And, even though, I am the very biggest and most played musician in the world Today, and, also, arguably, the most textbook published person in The United States, I am still in the process of finalizing the settlements on those many, many intellectual property works for me to have my wealth at hand. Nevertheless, I have yet to complete the super-major production on my upcoming CD release and world tour. And, because of the delays that I've encountered, having to do with the peculiar hair damage problem, and otherwise, and, because I am still trying to collect on the works and do not have my wealth at hand for my personal usage, I ask that you pay me a sum of money so that I can immediately begin the massive hair treatment that I so need if I am going to play professional, public performances, and, that I Know will put my beautiful, vanity hair back in order. Today, my hair is in a condition that would be referred to as "a ninth". But, in the suburbs, or in higher income, that would really be considered no less than a half. So, with me being, actually, the biggest celebrity in The United States, where the people of The United States need to see me so desperately on television, I express to you that this request for assistance, or grant, is really an utter emergency. I ask that you feel free in assisting me with what I say I need here, and, what I'd also like to have. ** This is what I suggest. You tender me a check, say in an amount of whatever amount of dollars is most appropriate when the biggest (and greatest you know) celebrity, or, at least, actually, the biggest celebrity in The United States if not the world, has this kind of hair problem. A large check payment would not only certainly repair my hair problem, but, I can use the excess money that you will give me to higher private investigators to investigate the names that are mentioned above as perpetrators. Also, I am in the process of taking undergraduate law classes in preparation to attend law school, possibly in August **** (beginning), and, these funds would make my time at Law School quite a fun and embodying experience for myself, and, all of The United States to watch. And, of course, when they are watching me, as you probably know that even millions of people watch every move I make, I will be able to put on an entertaining and wholesome like life for them to watch with the wealth. If you remember from college, that is the ideal thing for the main celebrity to be doing every second of every single day. So, I will use these funds to do just that, to be an entertaining and patriotic American. This way, the country will know exactly how to be. If you have any books that you recommend that I read for this inevitable leadership position, I ask that you also return e-mail with the list of books for me to read.** To get to the amount that I ask for, normally, something like the problem that I'm having with my hair would only need $* million dollars to repair for the average celebrity. But, with myself actually being the very biggest celebrity in the world, if not the history of the world with all of my many, most accomplishments, and, also, the fact that the biggest celebrity on Earth (Myself) has such extreme attention that the "sky could fall", so to speak, with all of the magnanamous amounts of attention that I receive, I'm certain that you should understand that I must have much more funding than this if this problem is going to be repaired and compensated properly. Also, mentionably, I will have the funding that I need to win Ohio for The G.O.P., and in voting for yourself, so that you can win The **** Presidential Election. So, whether you choose to call this check compensation, a grant, restitution, or, whatever classification that you see most fit in calling this check payment (I think it's a grant though) I ask that you tender me $** Million Dollars. But, if that seems to be too high of an amount for your, I could see to $** Million getting all that I need done. I just wouldn't have the extra money that usually went to a celebrity as myself with the very highest amount of fame. Although, if you feel that that is an exorbiant amount, I would be willing to go down to accepting $* Million Dollars, which should be enough to recover my hair.** I thank you for taking the time to read this request for funding by myself, Celebrity - Marcus J. Shurr. I hope that we've connected now, so that I can be fully functioning, and, that I have enough strength to swing the G.O.P. fully in your corner for The **** Presidential Election. But, most importantly, the issue of my extreme celebrity hair being damaged is thee most serious hair damage on Earth, or, possibly, that has ever occurred in the history of fame. What I'd like you to do is to choose a generous amount of money to send me, hopefully in check form because I do not wish to leave my bank account number on the public e-mail site. And, once you've chosen an amount, because if you don't pay me something you may even be liable for the damage - I have no one else that I quite know of who can really assist this celebrity hair problem, I ask that you mail the check to my home address, which is listed below. ** I wish you a wonderful coming holiday season, and, I hope to hear from you soon. Thank you for your time and concern. My contact information is listed as follows:**Marcus J. Shurr, ***** Cedarwood Drive, Suite ****, Westlake, Ohio *****, *Telephone Number: (***) ***-****, E-mail Ad.:"M*****@***.com"
GetHuman-marcshur did not yet indicate what White House should do to make this right.